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We only allow bitching two ranks up. The men bitch about sergeants. Riley bitches about captains . . . I bitch about majors and colonels. Riley has a way of saying “saving yourself Sir” when we’re into the Johnny Walker and he’s diatribing every officer in the British Army. He lets me off lightly because I take the same shit as he does . . . and because so far I’ve kept everyone alive. I often wonder why I seconded to this mob from Canada. I guess because in Canada we don’t get to kill anybody. Weird as it might seem, I had the distinct memory of feeling just like this before my very first date with Callan at college. Then I’d had butterflies as I waited for the handsome college quarterback to arrive for our first date. And strange as it was, now I felt the same way, as I waited for my husband of twenty-two years to find me.My nerves built and built. No longer a mature and in-control mother of three. More like a callow and nerve-wracked eighteen-year-old. Finally, after what seemed an. I was so angry at this point I could scream. “What the fuck? Finish me off god damnit,” I said in a mindless fit of teased and denied rage. “Oh, are we defiant all of a sudden?” she asked with an evil grin. “Okay, that means it’s time for your second surprise,” she began explaining. “You probably think I’m going to make you lick these nylons clean, but really it’s going to be far, far worse. Most of the stink that’s built up in them is on the inside of the pantyhose where they were up against. On your asssssesssss."The fallen archangel realised that this was all plot exposition. Which he hated. So he stopped.And God, having been The Word for a little while and conceding to Himself that He might have deliberately missed something, again looked down upon what He had wrought, and He saw that He had missed nothing. His creations were merely walking. Taking in the glorious sights He had gracefully chucked in for them. Arguing.Well, no surprise there."Oh, crap", said the talking snake..
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