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No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.''Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in the world do you want to marry her then?''Because she can still drive and she has a car!'Three old guys are out. I wanted our conversation to be easy going but it eventually led back to her feeling scared to stay at home because her mother would sometimes become violent. I hoped it wouldn’t be so serious and every time she happened to look down, I couldn’t help but stare at her boobs. I had wanted to be with her and as I continued to listen I thought about how nice it would be to kiss her and feel her next to me. Desperately needing something to calm my nerves, I ordered a drink and being we were in a. After editing my ad slightly I found a young man who sounded like he might be fun. We decided to meet and talk at one of the city’s parks early one morning. I drove there and was waiting in my car when a young man jogged up in shorts and t-shirt. “David?” he asked. “I’m Dean … we talked online?” I nodded and opened the car door for him. He hopped in and closed the door. We began with some small talk but soon got more to the point. “Do you want to see what I have on?” Dean asked. Surprised, I. .. I've been meaning to talk to you about that." I was running out of time to spring my spur-of-the-moment plan. "I was going to suggest I drive you back. It's an easy three day drive, and you'd get to see northern California and the Oregon coast." But what about my plane ticket?" You could cash it in when you get back to Vancouver. If not, I'll buy it from you." I suppose I'm expected to sleep with you." Nope. We'll have separate rooms. You'll be completely safe from me." I tried to say it in.
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