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Phillips, had insisted that I if Iwas going to start hormone therapy and consider living as a woman Icould not hide behind the curtains any longer. At that point I hadconfided only in my parents and a friend in Jersey City named Jan.Jan and I met in summer camp. I was the boys' tennis champion; she wasthe girls' best swimmer. We both loved punk music and what had been asummer, pre-teen, romance developed into a friendship that lastedthrough college. When I mentioned to Jan how scared I was to. She quickly scanned through the array of items on the floor. Most were broken, rotted, or otherwise destroyed pieces of gear and clothing she’d taken off of those turned to stone or who had run away without collecting their belongings.She pointed, “That’s one of my first memories, none of the rest are important.”Ria nodded. Then with a wave of her hand, the dried-up piece of snakeskin that looked to be taken from only the back half of the serpent turned into a glimmering point of light and flew. ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘I am sorry. I am sorry. So sorry. So so so sorry.’ She tentatively put an arm on my shoulder to comfort me, unsure of exactly why I was sorry. I looked at her. She was barely legal. Driven to this profession in need of cash, drugs, whatever, she would never get to grow up. She would never get a chance at redeeming her life. Her innocent, almost childlike expression stuck in my mind. Such endearing innocence and I would end it in a few minutes. I put on my jacket and walked up. He got me against the wall and we started kissing. I told him I am starting to get more interested. I gave him my key to my dorm and told him to wait there for me. He told me he will be there. During class I could not focus on the lecture, I was thinking about Terrence. I wondered what my family would think if they knew I had desires for black men . As a Southern white Christian girl it would seem that I would not be interested in black guys. I was always seen as sweet and innocent.Once I got.
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